PARENTAL IDIOMS

It can be rather dismaying to find yourself spouting forth nonsensical things to your children that your parents spouted at you. You wondered where they came up with these odd expressions and idioms. Now you are hearing them echoing down the ages out of your own mouth. Maybe it's genetic; maybe they got them from their parents.

Maybe not. I'm pretty sure my mother's exclamations of "Oskamalochy" and "Bulshevacky" were original to her. (Is it possible to misspell a non-word?) "Oskamalochy" was her primary expression of extreme alarm upon encountering any spider, snake, or putrefied potato. I've found it rather fitting on similar occasions. "Bulshevacky", I'm pretty sure, was her good Baptist upbringing way of not saying "bullshit". Dad used that term liberally enough for all of us. Personally, I've not found the substitute as safisfying as the real thing.

Most of us have heard the threat, "I'm going to knock you into next week!" But my dad took that one to another level with "I'm gonna hit you so hard you'll wear out rollin'!" or "I'll knock you so hard your kids'll be born dizzy!" I spent a fair amount of time as a youngster pondering that one. Now my kids do.

I'm sure Dad's "Take all you want, but eat all you take" and "Yours is not to question why; yours is but to do or die" came directly from his Marine boot camp experience. And he enforced them like any drill sergeant worth his salt would. I never needed any further clarification on those two and my kids have never asked for any either.

One of my dad's that I never got a handle on was, "This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you." .....Really?! Eighteen lashes with a wooden spoon on the bare butt later. Thankfully, that's one I've never heard come out of my mouth. And though we did spank our children in their formative years when needed, it was one or two smacks on a clothed bottom.

And there's the dire consequences ones: "You're gonna fall and break your neck", "You're gonna slip and poke your eye out", "You're gonna get the bends and drown", "You're gonna inhale that and choke to death", and last, but not least..."You can drown in two inches of water, ya know!" Unbelievably, I heard that last one come out of my mouth not too long ago.

You know what they say..."The nut doesn't fall too far from the tree!"